OT: Bipolar I is a ***** and this ***** ain't dying!
I am majorly stressed out and depressed and have been for the last month.
No matter what I do or say I just cannot get out of this little rut I am in right now.
I know that eventually I will, but right now it just has me in the deepest grip.
Therapy and medication is making it a little better to cope with, but it is not working fast enough for me and is not a miracle of any sort.
It is a work in progress though so I am still holding out hope.
I am stressing due to an upcoming apartment move that takes place on 12/16/09.
I am moving from one apartment to another and am in the middle of packing and the whole thing has just overwhelmed me to the core.
I know that it is not the end of the world, but it is totally freaking me out and no matter what I say or do I just can’t stop stressing.
I know the main reason is I miscalculated horribly the amount of funds that I would need to move and have gotten myself into a financial bind that I will have to get out of with the help of my family (Mom and Dad).
That in itself has caused me to be stressed as I hate hate hate asking them for anything because I never want to be known as the one who always ask for assistance.
I often hear them talking about other members of the family in that way and I never wanted to be that person.
This is one of those times though where I have no freaking choice and I have to ask for help and that is really not ok with me.
I also am overwhelmed by all of the things that I have to move from my 2nd floor apt to a 3rd floor apt up the highway from here.
I used one of those move for free companies in finding my apt, but did not read the fine print.
Since my new apt is not over $650.00 a month they will not move me for free, but are only issusing a $100.00 credit toward the move and I have to come up with $125.00 and that only covers 2 1/2 hours of the movers time. Any additional time is my responsibility at $22.50 per 15 minutes or $90.00 per hour with no minimums.
I did not realize how much stuff I had for a single person with a 4 pound Chihuahua living in a one bedroom 800 sq ft apt.
I have no attachment to anything except photos and the electronics and furniture so a part of me just wants to throw it all away so I do not have to deal with it.
I know deep inside that is not the answer, but it is how I feel.
I have two weeks so I do have time, but it just feels like it is all caving in on me today.
I feel better already just writing it down so I know that it will get better.
I am going to get through this, but I am going to have to work my ass off.
One of the reasons I am moving is because the apt I am in now is a financial drain on me as they are older and the ac/heater units are old as dirt and my electric bill was always $250.00 a month and the maintenance here never repair anything in a timely manner.
I am hoping that when I move I will be in a better place emotionally and financially.
A change of scenery will do the trick.
I hope you all are doing well and are in good spirits.
I also hope the weight loss is going well for all of you.
I am still sitting still at a 40 pound weight loss since 10-09-09.
I am slowly, but surely going to get to goal.
I just need to get past this depression hurdle.
I know that I can and I will.
I know that I am totally blessed to even be alive or have a family to even be going through this temporary setback with so believe me I know I am blessed and do not take that for granted.
No matter what I do or say I just cannot get out of this little rut I am in right now.
I know that eventually I will, but right now it just has me in the deepest grip.
Therapy and medication is making it a little better to cope with, but it is not working fast enough for me and is not a miracle of any sort.
It is a work in progress though so I am still holding out hope.
I am stressing due to an upcoming apartment move that takes place on 12/16/09.
I am moving from one apartment to another and am in the middle of packing and the whole thing has just overwhelmed me to the core.
I know that it is not the end of the world, but it is totally freaking me out and no matter what I say or do I just can’t stop stressing.
I know the main reason is I miscalculated horribly the amount of funds that I would need to move and have gotten myself into a financial bind that I will have to get out of with the help of my family (Mom and Dad).
That in itself has caused me to be stressed as I hate hate hate asking them for anything because I never want to be known as the one who always ask for assistance.
I often hear them talking about other members of the family in that way and I never wanted to be that person.
This is one of those times though where I have no freaking choice and I have to ask for help and that is really not ok with me.
I also am overwhelmed by all of the things that I have to move from my 2nd floor apt to a 3rd floor apt up the highway from here.
I used one of those move for free companies in finding my apt, but did not read the fine print.
Since my new apt is not over $650.00 a month they will not move me for free, but are only issusing a $100.00 credit toward the move and I have to come up with $125.00 and that only covers 2 1/2 hours of the movers time. Any additional time is my responsibility at $22.50 per 15 minutes or $90.00 per hour with no minimums.
I did not realize how much stuff I had for a single person with a 4 pound Chihuahua living in a one bedroom 800 sq ft apt.
I have no attachment to anything except photos and the electronics and furniture so a part of me just wants to throw it all away so I do not have to deal with it.
I know deep inside that is not the answer, but it is how I feel.
I have two weeks so I do have time, but it just feels like it is all caving in on me today.
I feel better already just writing it down so I know that it will get better.
I am going to get through this, but I am going to have to work my ass off.
One of the reasons I am moving is because the apt I am in now is a financial drain on me as they are older and the ac/heater units are old as dirt and my electric bill was always $250.00 a month and the maintenance here never repair anything in a timely manner.
I am hoping that when I move I will be in a better place emotionally and financially.
A change of scenery will do the trick.
I hope you all are doing well and are in good spirits.
I also hope the weight loss is going well for all of you.
I am still sitting still at a 40 pound weight loss since 10-09-09.
I am slowly, but surely going to get to goal.
I just need to get past this depression hurdle.
I know that I can and I will.
I know that I am totally blessed to even be alive or have a family to even be going through this temporary setback with so believe me I know I am blessed and do not take that for granted.
Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Teena, firstly let me say that I am lifting you in prayer angel. It is really hard and I do understand. My soon to be ex-husband is bi-polar and has OCD and is not on any type of treatment. I can tell you, after 20 years of watching him pendulum, I now know it is change that sets him off. Any kind of change, but a move...whew...that's a biggie for bi-polors. It also sets off his OCD. So, his hoarding gets worse and his rituals (counting, checking, pacing) get worse as well. My suggestion, talk to your doctor regarding a med increase. Sometimes increasing your meds for a short span can make all the difference.
For example, a few years ago, my daughter went into crisis and became both emotionally and physically ill. She also has PMDD (premenstrual disphoric disorder). (Yeah, life has been fun for me for the past few years) Anyway... One of the things that really helped was putting her on Prozac, but she was on such a low dose that during her period, it wasn't helping as much as needed. So, her doctor prescribed a short increase in meds for the two weeks surrounding her period. Worked like a charm. She is much better now and doesn't need to do that anymore, but for that time it worked.
So maybe over this stressful time sweetheart, an increase in meds might help.
Brenda,
Thanks for responding.
I mainly posted to just get it out and never expected anyone to respond.
LMAO.
Funny thing is Brenda I also have OCD.
LMAO.
Change does set me off as I am a routine/ritual kind of person and my stability depends on it.
I know that this change is what is causing me this stress and depression even if it is a good change.
I go see my Dr. on Wednesday so I will discuss meds then.
I am afraid of an increase though as the meds I take now are strong as hell and are already at high dosages.
Any higher and I would pretty much just sleep 24-7 and be all zombied up.
Maybe she can make a suggestion that would be a compromise.
Thank you so much for sharing and praying for me.
Thanks for responding.
I mainly posted to just get it out and never expected anyone to respond.
LMAO.
Funny thing is Brenda I also have OCD.
LMAO.
Change does set me off as I am a routine/ritual kind of person and my stability depends on it.
I know that this change is what is causing me this stress and depression even if it is a good change.
I go see my Dr. on Wednesday so I will discuss meds then.
I am afraid of an increase though as the meds I take now are strong as hell and are already at high dosages.
Any higher and I would pretty much just sleep 24-7 and be all zombied up.
Maybe she can make a suggestion that would be a compromise.
Thank you so much for sharing and praying for me.
Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Thank you for your support.
I know it will get better I just got to hold on.
I am already on Lamictal, Seroquel, Zoloft, and Xanax, and Lunesta.
My lil ****tail to keep away the cookoo's and to help me sleep.
LMAO
I will mention Abilify and see what she says.
I have to research what the side effects are first.
Thanks for the suggestions and support.
I really appreciate it.
I know it will get better I just got to hold on.
I am already on Lamictal, Seroquel, Zoloft, and Xanax, and Lunesta.
My lil ****tail to keep away the cookoo's and to help me sleep.
LMAO
I will mention Abilify and see what she says.
I have to research what the side effects are first.
Thanks for the suggestions and support.
I really appreciate it.
Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Lamictal, Seroquel: anti psychotics for the bi-polar disorder.
Zoloft: anti-depressant as a mood stabilizer
Xanax: for anxiety control, for the OCD
Lunesta: because all of these diseases often interfere with sleep.
(Why do I know this? Because I have a degree in clinical psychology and was working on my PhD. when I changed directions, not to mention, having a husband with all the same issues.)
Okay, gotcha. Now I will say that zoloft is like tic tacks for most people. So that is where I think your issues lie. You need something with a little more power behind it boo. Prozac may be the one. Abilify is often added to those meds to bolster them, but maybe just changing to Prozac will do it. Either way, we love you and are lifting you sweetie.
Zoloft: anti-depressant as a mood stabilizer
Xanax: for anxiety control, for the OCD
Lunesta: because all of these diseases often interfere with sleep.
(Why do I know this? Because I have a degree in clinical psychology and was working on my PhD. when I changed directions, not to mention, having a husband with all the same issues.)
Okay, gotcha. Now I will say that zoloft is like tic tacks for most people. So that is where I think your issues lie. You need something with a little more power behind it boo. Prozac may be the one. Abilify is often added to those meds to bolster them, but maybe just changing to Prozac will do it. Either way, we love you and are lifting you sweetie.
Prozac actually is like tic tacs for me and Zoloft actually works on me.
It amazes me how meds work on everyone differently.
I have been going through this mess since I was 11.
They need to find a cure.
Thank you so much.
I love you all too.
It amazes me how meds work on everyone differently.
I have been going through this mess since I was 11.
They need to find a cure.
Thank you so much.
I love you all too.
Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Okay, then check out Ability with your doctor. Maybe that will help. Girl, they really do. People do not realize how hard life is when you have challenges like this. It is really a disease of the brain and totally out of your control, but people still blame the victim as if you had some control over it. I applaud you for being brave enough to seek help, to continue therapy and to stay in the fight.
I will say this, I am traditionally trained but when my daughter went into crisis, trauma therapy, which is still relatively new and avant garde, worked like a charm for her.
I will say this, I am traditionally trained but when my daughter went into crisis, trauma therapy, which is still relatively new and avant garde, worked like a charm for her.
I am hoping that will be it.
I have been in therapy since I was 11 and it is amazing to me how many varieties of therapy styles there are.
I have tried them all almost.
I have had some horrible therapist and right now I have a great one.
She understands me and at the same time knows how to get me off my ass.
I agree that people that blame the survivor with Bipolar or any MI has no idea what we go through and that we have no control over it other than to try these meds that cause sometimes worse side effects than the actual disease and to go to therapy.
I could only imagine that helping your daughter was to close for comfort and she probably needed someone on the outside with a fresh view of her.
I hope she is doing better now.
It is good that you do have the training so you know what is going on.
I feel better already discussing this with you.
Thank you Brenda.
I have been in therapy since I was 11 and it is amazing to me how many varieties of therapy styles there are.
I have tried them all almost.
I have had some horrible therapist and right now I have a great one.
She understands me and at the same time knows how to get me off my ass.
I agree that people that blame the survivor with Bipolar or any MI has no idea what we go through and that we have no control over it other than to try these meds that cause sometimes worse side effects than the actual disease and to go to therapy.
I could only imagine that helping your daughter was to close for comfort and she probably needed someone on the outside with a fresh view of her.
I hope she is doing better now.
It is good that you do have the training so you know what is going on.
I feel better already discussing this with you.
Thank you Brenda.
Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
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